The Sensuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, making love carries enormous significance and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great too).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are attracted to incredibly difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective feelings of destination, excitement, love, well-being, and nearness .

However when issues emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, go to this site however the sex is terrific!" They probably would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, says that much of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially go to these guys in urbane locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow with time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, goals, and worths -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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