The Sensuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate great sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex carries immense meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are attracted to incredibly difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to powerful feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, wellness, closeness, and love .

When issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They probably wouldn't confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, states that a number of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in urban areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. see page If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with typical sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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