The Intimacy Lure, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex carries tremendous meaning and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be good as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , causing powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, closeness, wellness, and love .

When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They more than likely would not confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that much of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in metropolitan locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North includes, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To i thought about this prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, goals, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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