The Intimacy Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels besides physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), link dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with somebody we are brought in to extremely difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel really near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in effective feelings of attraction, excitement, closeness, love, and well-being .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They most likely would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern see this here the rest as look at here now optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that numerous of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in urbane locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with common sense. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, objectives, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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