The Intimacy Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries immense meaning and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be good as well).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the chance to make love with somebody we are attracted to very hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to powerful feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, love, nearness, and well-being .

But when problems develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that a lot of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in cities, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sex. Many gay men wish to discover from the starting if a prospective partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North includes, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the a knockout post partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow in time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with common sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make Find Out More your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, objectives, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Intimacy Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Cranium”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar